


How to Grieve Properly

by eatmoarveggis



Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-08-02 22:15:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16313651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eatmoarveggis/pseuds/eatmoarveggis





	1. Chapter 1

“Mo-om, come here, look what I found! You’ll never believe it!”  
The woman heard the ring of the twelve year old boy’s voice from the backyard, full of excitement. Laura gasped, a smile wide across her face. She hadn’t heard him so happy in weeks. Her son’s mood had been dismal after his dog, Ralph, had passed away. Tommy had been going outside to sit by Ralph’s grave and would barely touch his dinner, most of which had been his favorite meal of mac and cheese in an effort to lift his spirits.  
She recalled Ralph then, picturing the scruffy black and white Jack Russel she had adopted from the local animal shelter a month before, and how attached her son had become to the little dog. Laura had loved seeing Tommy with Ralph, who would sleep in his bed and follow him around the neighborhood when he went to see his friends. It had served as more of a distraction for her, really, because every time she took Ralph on a walk or filled his food bowl, she wasn’t remembering Michael. A lump formed in her throat and she knew too well that if she lost control now, tears would form in her hazel eyes and she would remember. But remember she did. She hated picturing those times, when they were all together, it made her shut down and she couldn’t think, and her husband was gone because he just had to go and get sick, to leave them in just a few months after the diagnosis. At least he had died at home. She recalled the one moment that she had tried to push away since he had died. 

_Laura heard the sniffling from the kitchen as she was clearing up the table and putting away the tortillas, remains of the tacos she had made for dinner. Wondering if either Michael or Tommy had caught a cold, something she deemed likely to happen to them as they almost never adhered to hygiene by washing their hands or coughing into their sleeves, the woman entered the living room. The two males in question were sniffling, wiping their eyes periodically with the long sleeves of their Lakers shirts, and she became puzzled by this. Was there a sad movie on, maybe, or a news story detailing some horrific event that had caused them to break down? Laura glanced at the television, a flat screen that Michael had begged her for, saying that it would “bring the room together”. However, since she had given in a week ago, it seemed like the only things that had been brought together were the boy’s butts and the couch. They were constantly glued to it, and they had all their favorite sports team’s games set to record if they missed a game, which to her knowledge had never happened. She recalled that yesterday at church, Michael had reminded Tommy that there was a game on that night. This resulted in the two pestering Laura to tell them the exact minute they were leaving. It looked like they were watching yet another game, the Lakers from what she could see, but she still had no idea why they were crying. It seemed like a game wouldn’t exactly be saddening, but then again she had no clue what the positions were called, or what a “rebound” was, so they must have had a reason for their tears._  
“What’s going on? Are you okay, honey?” she inquired, sitting next to her husband and taking his hand. He turned to her, his normally bright and lively green eyes covered by a film of tears. Seeing him that way was not usual for her, and she felt her chest hurting with empathy for him. He spoke up, his voice shaking.  
“I-it’s his last game, he’s retiring. We’ll never see him play ever again!” Michael exclaimed as he sobbed. Laura patted his shoulder, smiling to try to reassure her husband.  
The woman replied in a what she hoped was soothing tone.  
“It’ll be okay, there’ll be more great players in the future, babe.”  
Tommy sighed from the other side of his father, eyebrows narrowed in frustration.  
“Mom, you don’t understand, Kobe is one of the best players, and now he’s gone and nobody will ever be as good as him!” The little boy blew his nose in his sleeve. Laura made a mental note to wash her son’s shirt the following day, and left to her and Michael’s bedroom, flipping on her favorite chick flick as she shook her head and came to the conclusion that she’d never understand sports.


	2. Findings and Fallen Ears

Laura would never hug her husband again, never hear him and Tommy buzzing with excitement when a basketball game was on TV. That was why she had gotten the dog, as a sort of filler for her and Tommy. Ralph had kept Tommy entertained and happy, and she… She had been distracted, because she was so busy taking him on walks, feeding him and taking him to the vet. There was no time to sit around and cry over losing the love of her life, just filling Ralph’s bowl and picking up the poop he would leave in the bushes. At least he wouldn’t leave it out on the grass, but it was strange due to the fact that they had never taught him to do that.  
But now Ralph was dead.

The little white teeth that chewed up her shoes and the incessant yappy barking whenever they left him alone that annoyed the Jhonsons next door was gone. Laura had wished over and over after she put Tommy to bed each night that there was something that would make her boy himself again. Now it seemed that her wishes had come true. She smiled before drying her hand on the brown towel that she’d used to dry the last of the dishes a few moments before and going out the white kitchen door, painted to compliment the yellow walls.

What greeted Laura as she went over to her son made her stop in her tracks. There, next to the boy, was a dog. It ran up to her, excitedly wagging its tail. It was a small male dog, but the amount of fur he had on his body made him appear bigger, and also confused her as to what breed he was. She noticed that his eyes were huge, brown ones that bulged out of the dog’s head as if they were tiny balloons trying to inflate inside the eye sockets. The fur was long, with its color hidden under layers of dirt. As she took in the physical appearance of the dog, a rank smell penetrated her nostrils. Laura covered her mouth to hold back the bile rising, hot and sour, in her throat. The dog smelled like he had rolled in rotten garbage and then had itself sprayed with perfume somehow. She took deep breaths to keep herself from throwing up, but judging from how Tommy was sitting close to the mystery pooch, it seemed as though he liked the dog enough to put up with the odor.  
_There is no way he’d be able to ignore that awful stench_ , Laura thought as she tried in vain to plug her nose. Now what to do?  
They could call animal control, but the officers would puke all over themselves once they got within range of the dog. Or there was the possibility of her giving it to her parents to take care of- but that would surely lead to them literally having heart attacks. She shuddered as she pictured the elderly couple slumped over on their faded yellow loveseat as the dog chewed up their T.V dinners and peed all over their hardwood floor. No, Laura couldn’t pawn the dog off onto unsuspecting friends or family members, that was out of the question. All of those options gone, there was only one left: they keep him.  
“Mom, look, let’s see if he knows tricks, too! Beg!” Tommy said, pulling her from her racing thoughts. 

She glanced over just in time to see the terrier stand up on his hind legs, mottled pink and purplish tongue sticking out as he panted.  
Her son beamed, pointing to the dog with a triumphant, “Cool!”  
The woman felt a chill run down her spine as the dog’s left ear fell off, but ignored it. Maybe it had a disease, or it had been mauled by a coyote and so the ear had been hanging on by a thread and sitting up was the thing that broke the camel’s back at last.  
It was pretty gross looking though, with a bone jutting out at the bottom, the part where it had detached a jagged edge. Some blood was on it too, though it looked to Laura to be dried, as it was dark, almost black, and crusty.  
Tommy stared at the ear, mouth hanging open, and Laura knew she had to do something with the ear. She didn’t want her son to be tempted to pick it up, God knows what sorts of things the boy could catch from that thing, so she figured she should dispose of it as soon as possible. Laura walked over to her son and tapped him on the shoulder to stop him from staring at it.  
“Tommy, go in the kitchen and get me a plastic bag please.” She told him, internally shuddering and feeling some of her earlier queasiness as she noticed something wormlike moving in the severed ear. He nodded and went inside, emerging a few minutes later with a black plastic bag. Laura was grateful he hadn’t gotten a clear one, it made it easier because she wouldn’t have to look at it as she dropped it into the trashbin. Laura took the bag from him.  
“Thank you, Tommy. Want to help me throw this out?”  
“No thanks, have fun with that!” he said quickly. “I think I’m just gonna go watch TV, Mom.”  
She chuckled as she picked up the ear with the bag and tied off the end.  
“Okay. After that, I’m giving this dog a bath, want to help out?” Laura asked him as she walked over to the black trashbin and dropped the bag in, closing the lid rapidly. Her son shook his head.  
“I wouldn’t wanna get in the way or anything. I’ll just be in the living room.” Tommy stated. She smiled and picked up the dog.  
“Okay then, we’ll see you in a bit.”


	3. Ralph?

The dog’s paws scrabbled in vain at the edge of the laundry room sink as Laura scrubbed him with shampoo, the odor still there on his fur. She had her work cut out for her, as dirt was mixing with the foamy shampoo like chocolate with milk. It became apparent that the dog’s coat was white with some black patches, and its breed was a Jack Russel terrier.  
_That’s interesting, this dog almost looks-_ The woman stopped her thought, shaking her head and chuckling as she rinsed the dog off. There was multitudes of black and white Jack Russels, she reasoned with herself, a lot of them had similar coloring.  
Laura picked up the small dog and put him on the nearby counter, going to the bathroom down the hall for her hairdryer and perfume. A yelp sounded from the laundry room, growing more and more agitated by the minute. She rushed back in, smiling as she remembered Ralph’s separation anxiety, and murmured to the dog softly.  
“It’s okay, I’m here now. You get scared to be by yourself, huh? Let’s dry you off.” she said, patting the dog’s wet head and after a moment of pondering, sniffed. The smell still lingered on his fur, and she realized soap wasn’t going to be enough.  
Laura started the hairdryer after she’d plugged it in, chasing the dog with it as he ducked away from the blast. When it was over, she sprayed him with her floral perfume. Laura grinned as the trash and rotten odor faded and the scent of French lilac replaced it. She wrapped him in a fluffy white towel and carried him to the living room. Tommy was watching an NFL game while he sat on the U-shaped brown couch. The woman placed the towel bundle on the floor, and the small dog shook off the towel along with the excess water from his fur, leaving Laura to pick it up and put it away.  
As she placed the towel in the dirty laundry basket, her son gasped, his voice full of shock and happiness.  
“Ralph?” he asked.  
Laura sighed, she should have known he’d react this way when he saw the dog’s fur. 

After they’d lost Michael, he would pretend his father was still there for a while. Tommy had even drawn a third family member where there should’ve been two for a project in class once. He’d drawn it in blue crayon, Laura watching with a smile as he and his stick figure dad played with an oval, which according to him was supposed to be a football, and a happy yellow sun in the corner.  
Laura had been chastised by the teacher for demanding it be taken down when she had come to the class’s Open House, told that would be “stifling his imagination”.  
She wanted to roll her eyes as she remembered that word that had been said over and over about her son. Dozens of people who she had turned to, worried about his pretending like his father was still there, had said the same thing: “He is just a little boy with a very active imagination, let him pretend.”  
But now it was continuing, and she took a deep breath, knowing she would have to nip this in the bud before it went too far.

Laura went back in the living room and sat next to Tommy, who was laughing as the dog nibbled on his shoelaces.  
She waited a bit before speaking, hoping her son would listen.  
“Tommy, why did you say Ralph’s name? This is just a dog we found in the yard, it could be someone else’s pet.”  
She began feeling worried as Tommy shook his head.  
“No, Mom, he doesn’t have a collar because you took it off him when we buried him. Don’t you remember? And he looks exactly the same except for that weird smell he had before, and his ear coming off.” Tommy stated, shrugging like it was an everyday statement to make, like it didn’t mean anything to him to suggest that this dog could be Ralph come back to life, like this type of thing was even possible.  
“Tommy, stop with this pretending. That’s enough, okay? There is no such thing as dogs coming back from the dead. This is a dog that looks like Ralph, but Ralph is dead!” she yelled.

He flinched as if his mother’s words had stung him, then spoke again.  
“But, Mom, he-“ Laura cut him off, anger making her face feel like it was burning and her hands became fists.  
“No. I don’t want to hear any more about this, or that dog goes on the street!”  
“I can show you. Please.” He pleaded, eyes wide as he hugged the dog. She huffed in frustration. Perhaps the only way to get him to come to grips with the loss of Ralph would be for him to try to find evidence that he couldn’t present. She nodded.  
“Okay, but,” she held up a finger. “If there’s nothing that can show me that this dog is Ralph, he goes away.”  
Her son grinned, darting into the kitchen and out the screen door. She followed, looking down to see the little dog at her heel. 

_I have to make Tommy come back to the real world so he can mourn his dog properly._  
Laura followed her son until he stopped near Ralph’s grave and turned back to face her. She once again talked to him, saying, “Honey, Ralph is dead. The grave looks the same as always.”  
He pointed to the dog, his jaw clenched now.  
“Ralph is alive, he’s right here!”  
Laura groaned. “Tommy, we buried him after he got hit by a truck. That dog is strange, but it’s not him. It doesn’t even have a left ear.”  
“Mom, just please believe me. I’ve never lied to you before, and I’m not starting now.” The boy looked at her, his eyes wide like when he was 5 and had broken a window when he was learning to play baseball from his father.  
Laura looked closely again at the patch of dirt where they had buried Ralph. There was a hole in the dirt she had not seen before, just wide enough for a small animal. Her eyes widened in surprise, and she turned to Tommy again, then glancing at the dog she now knew was Ralph. It all made sense now: the fur, the yelps when he was alone, the way he had known how to beg. It was Ralph, and now shame made her face grow warm.  
She pointed at the dog. “He doesn’t belong here-“ the woman began. Tommy gasped, his eyes stormy now.  
“What do you mean, ‘doesn’t belong here’? He’s part of our family, he-“  
Laura put up a finger and Tommy looked down at his shoes, obviously thinking she was going to put Ralph onto the street. She spoke again, this time with a cheerful tone in her voice.  
“He doesn’t belong here in the yard, Tommy. Go open the kitchen door and let Ralph in, it’s going to get dark soon!”


End file.
